Are you there God? It’s me Nub…

I’ve never ever felt more like a 16 year girl till just now.

Good news! I finally found some wifi on trail to post another journal entry. Bet you didn’t know the Appalachian Trail had wifi did you, huh? We’ll it’s not actually the Appalachian Trail that has wifi, it’s this cozy rustic Starbucks I found. They really are everywhere! Highly recommend the caramel maccioto, really gives you the energy to wanna run trail twice!So I’m less than a week in and I feel like I’m really finding myself here. And by finding myself, I really mean that this is the most painfully length of time I’ve ever been intentionally sober, so all sorts of things are new and tingly! …Or that could be the DTs setting in??? No worries! I’m sure to run into a hippie with some firewater to share with me in no time!

As I sit here talking with the barista I can’t help but think about all the things I miss... Not really my family and friends, but mainly my TV shows. I’m so disappointed I decided to leave before the series finale of “Girls.” HOW WILL THOSE BITCHES LET THEIR FRIENDSHIP DIE?!  I’m also a bit depressed that I’m missing out on who will win this season’s “The Voice” (#TeamLevine). I also wonder how this seasons of “Teen Mom” (you know I’m talking about the OG girls guys) are doing? Bright side is I should be home by the time “Stranger Things” season 2 starts! Oh goodie!!Well the shop (shoppe if we’re being fancy) is about to close down and I need to pitch my tent! Till next time folks!

- A Penis Fly Trap guest post

Day 9 - 17

Tuesday, April 18th - I retrieved my tent At Top of Georgia hostel, made some friends, and continued on my journey!

Friday, April 21 - hiking through the brush fire areas is creepy!

Saturday, April 22 - I made a guest appearance at half case, half marathon and had a great time drinking beers and eating tacos!

Monday, April 24 - I hit mile 136 and pooped in some shelters!

Bopping in North Carolina!

Day 6 - 8: I'm still alive!

Dear Devoted Readers,

I am still alive.  I had a nice solid poop on Sunday.  You might have thought that this blog would be about the sites I'd see and the spiritual journey I am on, but it's really shaping up to be a lot more about my pooping habits than anything else.  I could have stayed home for this, as this is usually a topic of discussion,  but whatever.

I stayed in a luxury hotel...for roaches, the other night.  It was nice to have company and take a nice hot shower, though.   Hiawassie, Georgie is not the nicest town I've ever been in.  As I was walking aimlessly, looking for places to eat that weren't closed for Easter, two women passed me a couple of times.  It just so happened they were also looking for place to eat.  So, like a stray puppy, they picked me up and we found a Mexican restaurant in town that was actually open!  Now, I'm just waiting in town waiting for my tent to be delivered.

Trail Head

Luxury Roach Motel

Day 5: I'm probably going to die

Have you ever seen the movie Into the Wild?  Where the guy eats a berry then shits himself to death?  Great, because that is exactly how this trip is going.  I've contracted Norovirus and I lost my tent poles somewhere on trail.

I ran into two nice girls from Buffalo, New York doing a section of the AT.  It was nice to be around women again.  Oh, how I missed the smell of a woman's hair and their soft eyes.  One girl was a tall German Judo instructor and the other was a petite redheaded school teacher on her Spring Break.  After making friends, we decided to hike a bit of trail together and stay in a cabin.  On our way up North, a fine young gentleman hiking southbound told us that the Norovirus was going around in the Vogel State Park/Neels gap area and that a few hostels shut down to stop the spreading.  In addition, some hikers were getting it from some of the cabins in the area.  Not much later in the evening, did one of the girls start puking her brains out while the other so graciously cleaned out her puke buckets and returned them to her.  They invited me along to share a cabin with them and we got a ride into town, where a sudden onset of diarrhea caused me to leap out of the car so I could shit on the side of the road.  Lucky for them, it was the end of their trip and they got a ride back to Buffalo in the morning.

I am, however, now alone and shitting myself.  A great friend, ICHY, once contracted Salmonella and said it was like peeing out of your butthole.  I would not disagree with this analogy.  Luckily, I am in a cabin where I can spend my days shitting and trying to figure out how I'm going to make it to the next postal stop to retrieve the new tent I ordered...without a functional tent.  But, I'll probably just die here so maybe it doesn't matter.

This is going great!

Lots of pooping here

Day 4

Still hiking, still alive, still trying to find myself.  I've traveled 30ish miles?

I pooped here

Ramen noodles and ham

Bopping along

Day 2: Location Update

I did a bit of hiking.

I'm a man of the mountain, now!

I pooped here

Day 1: Location Update

Made it to trail

After spending a weekend in Asheville at Hangover Hash House Harrier's On-Location, I caught a ride to the beginning of the Appalachian trail in Georgia on Sunday.  I had a great last weekend in civilization chilling in a hot tub, hashing, and visiting breweries.  I set up my tent about a mile out from the beginning of the trail and now I'm making my way today regretting every decision I ever made in life!

First night set-up

Actual electric toothbrush

Trying to leave all these assholes and their unsolicited advice behind

Me and ICHY

Don't want to lose anymore fingers on machinery - at HiWire Brewery

Preparation Update

ICHY has so graciously filled my ipod with music.  She might have left a special "song" on there for me to find later in my journey.  I hope I have enough batteries for my electric toothbrush on trail because that's totally a priority.  I love munching on some granola and fresh breath is important.

Preparing for take-off

Dear Diary,

I embark on my journey soon.  I think I'm starting my hike on Sunday, April 9th.   I think I have all of my gear.  I'm waterproofing some stuff.  Not sure how I'm actually getting down there.  I hope I have enough toilet paper.  I got a physical and the doctor cleared me for hiking, physically, but I think he underestimates how ill-prepared I am.  This is going to be great.

Yours Truly, Nub